It's been 8 years.
8 years, but I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.
The knock on the door that woke me up at 7 am on Saturday, January 14th 2006.
Walking down the stairs while hearing crying and screaming.
I saw my parents holding each other. That was where crying was coming from.
I remember the two police officers standing by the door. They noticed me first before my parents did.
I sat down on the steps, just watching. I think deep down I knew, but my mind refused to acknowledge it.
Until they told me.
Until my Dad told me, my brother was gone. He was never coming home again. He would never walk through that door with his contagious smile and a smart ass remark at the ready.
I remember my Dad hugging me, and then I asked how it happened. A car accident, someone said.
Then the next thing I remember is sitting on the stairs by myself, watching my parents sobbing. Hearing the words, "Not my baby, no not my baby" over and over again.
Everything after that is now a blur. But one thing remains clear. The pain. I can still feel it when I allow myself to think about it.
It was like someone punched a whole in my heart. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. I just sat there with my arms around around myself, and cried.
My parents made me go to school that following Monday. At the time I thought it was the cruelest thing they could have done, but now I know it was the best thing for me.
It was so hard though. I had to go through my normal daily routine, except that he wasn't there to take me to school anymore, like he had been doing every day for the last few weeks.
I only told a couple of my teachers what had happened. I tried my best to just be normal, but I know they knew something was wrong. I didn't learn a thing that week. If I wasn't staring off trying not to burst into tears, I had my head down on the desk either sleeping or crying quietly.
My friends were so great. I would not have made it through that week without them. They kept me going, tried to make me smile and think about other things.
I remember the funeral service was so crowded with people they were lined up all along the sides of the room standing. Even out into the hall.
He had touched so many lives in his short 23 years here. Everyone loved him. He was the life of the party and the one who brought our family together.
He is missed by so many and will always remain in our hearts and minds.
R.I.P Brian Jack Jones
I love you and miss you so much.