We are all Moms- Can't we all just get along

I have had to opportunity to experience the best (and the worst) of both worlds when it comes to working or staying home with children. With my first child I had to work. At first just part-time then I went to full-time later on. Then with my second child, I couldn’t afford to work. I know that sounds silly, but when childcare for two children costs as much as I was bringing home, it didn’t make sense for me to work just to pay for childcare. So here I am now as a stay-at-home mom.

But until you have experienced firsthand both worlds, you cannot possibly and reasonably understand the challenges that they each bring.

Have you heard about the “Mommy Wars”? Well if not, it’s basically that other Moms have been outwardly judgmental towards others moms because they chose to do things differently. Working moms judge stay-at-home moms and vice versa. Both do it without fully understanding what the other life is like.

I have had enough of this crap. So I am taking a stand and I am going to explain some of the Pros and Cons of each lifestyle. My goal is to hopefully enlighten someone about moms who have made the decision to either stay home with their kids or return to work. As I said, I have done both. I have experienced them both firsthand.

THE WORKING MOM

PROS:

                

You get more adult social interaction without having to join a group or go out searching for friends. You probably have at least one person at work that you can talk to and gossip with. Believe it or not, it’s good for your health! And it doesn’t take much effort. You both are already there and you already have something in common, your work.

                

You will hopefully have a little more income to work with. Having two incomes can make things a lot easier, even if it’s just a little bit. It makes it easier to stretch your money until the next payday. Especially if you get paid on alternating weeks as your husband.

                

Your child/children will learn important social lessons if they go to daycare or even family member’s house. Children need to interact with people other than their parents and siblings. They need to learn how to take directions from other adults to prepare them for school. And they need to learn how to deal with kids as well.

                

Your life may be a little more organized. You make not always think it is. But just having an actual routine and schedule you have to follow helps so much. It makes you prioritize your time so that you can make sure that everything gets done.

CONS:

                

You will have to find someone you trust to take care of your child while you are at work. And not only to they have to watch your child, but also feed them, and hopefully teach them things, too. That can be so hard to do. Especially with all of the stories you hear of babysitters or even family members causing harm to the children.

               

 Childcare can be so expensive, too. If you don’t have parents or a family member willing to do it for free or cheap, you could be spending a few hundred dollars a month on childcare. For my two kids to go to daycare full-time it was going to cost me over $900/month! And that wasn’t even the high end fancy daycare. That was a day care that many lower income families used.

                

Children will also learn things from daycare and other kids that you may not want them to know. They will learn words and behaviors that force you to have a “lesson” with your child about why it’s not ok to say that or act that way. They also get sick ALL THE TIME! People don’t want to stay home with their kids when they are sick, so then your kid gets sick. And if you’re like me, you actually take the time off and stay home with them.

                

You may feel like you’re always in a hurry and that you don’t have time for anything. You may feel like you never get to rest. You go to work and then you may have to come home and cook and clean and then get everyone fed and in bed. Sometimes you want to pull your hair or runaway for a couple days.

THE STAY-AT-HOME MOM

PROS:

                

You don’t have to go to work and deal with a boss, co-workers and all of the drama and crap that comes with having a job. You don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn (hopefully) and get ready. You don’t have to deal with all of the idiots of the world if you don’t want to leave your house!

                

You get to spend every day with your kids. You get to watch first hand when they learn something new or reach a new milestone. You can also be able to be the one to teach your child like a daycare would.

                

You learn to be creative with kids, money, and everyday life. You learn how to make crafts with the random items you have around your house. You figure out ways to make household items last longer and not waste anything or you may learn how to make some things yourself.

                

You get to wear whatever you want! No lame uniforms or dress codes to follow. Hello, yoga pants! And if you’re having a “blah” day or you’re not feeling well, you can stay in your pajamas all day if you want to.

CONS:

                

You don’t have someone telling you what needs to be done and when, so it is very easy to procrastinate and not get anything done. You have to be a self-motivator if you want anything to get done. Otherwise you will end up on the couch all day and you and your kids won’t get dressed until 4 PM or not at all. You have to be the one create a schedule and force yourself to stick to it.

                

You don’t get any time off unless you make time for yourself. There are no breaks or lunches and your shift literally never ends. You don’t get to leave and just forget about work until the next day. You are always there and you always have to take care of the kids. So if you don’t schedule out time for yourself away from home and the kids you will go insane!

You may feel very disconnected from the world. Unless you make an effort to get out and connect with other people, you can become very lonely. That is why you hear about and see all of those mommy groups. You won’t get much time away from family so it is important to find other moms with similar interests and ones in a similar life stage.

Because you are a stay-at-home mom, everything related to the kids and the house becomes your job. All cleaning is your responsibility. You are in charge of feeding, dressing, bathing and getting the kids to bed. Making sure they have enough mental stimulation other than the T.V. all day long. And believe it or not it is actually quite difficult to keep a house clean when you and the kids are home all day every day.   

These are just a few things about each life style. I could go on and on about how each one is just as good but also just as hard as the other. But the point is, that no matter how you do it, being a MOM is HARD WORK, PERIOD!!!

As moms, it is our responsibility to do whatever works for our own families. What works for my family will not be the same as another family, and I am OK with that. It’s never alright to judge another mother for how she has to support her family. Whether that means going to work and putting her kids in daycare or staying home with them. You never know if it was really a personal choice or one forced on them by circumstances. As I said earlier, I did not have a choice with either of my kids. 

I hope this helps at least one woman realize that we all work hard for our families and that we need to support each other instead of demean and criticize each other.

THE AVERAGE MOM

How to Successfully Exclusively Pump for Your Baby

It is definitely true that “breast is best”, but it’s not always the easiest. In fact, it is rarely ever easy. But if Mom and Baby are able to succeed, the benefits make it all worthwhile. Baby gets milk made just for him. It’s always warm and ready to go! Mom and Baby get to experience a bond that only they can share. And Mom gets the benefits of having her uterus shrink faster, burn more calories (so an excuse to eat a little more) and no monthly visits from Mother Nature until you stop, if you’re lucky!

However, not all women and babies are able to nurse. Whether Mom is unable to make any milk, or baby cannot or will not latch on properly, sometimes it just won’t work.

And that is alright.

You have not failed!!!

Trust me, I know. I have experienced it firsthand myself. I had to start my first baby on formula after 6 weeks. I couldn't keep up with the demand after going back to work. But I promised myself I would do everything I could to make it work with the second baby. Formula was a last resort for us after going from living off of two full-time incomes to just one income. We simply couldn't afford for it not to work.

Unfortunately our Big Boy decided he was not going to go along with our plans.

After almost three months of constant struggling with latching, then a nursing strike that kept getting worse and lasted about 2 weeks, I gave up. The stress was making me dread nursing and I knew at that point is was not good for either of us.

However, we still could not afford to put him on formula. So, after thinking about it, and I mean really thinking about it, I decided to Exclusively Pump (EP) for my baby.

Now, I did not come to this decision lightly. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, either. And I know that if I had been working, I most certainly would not have been able to do it. I was already pumping more than he was nursing so the transition wasn't super difficult. But, I knew there was a lot I still needed to know. So I started searching for tips online and came across this website that had everything you would need to know about every problem you could possibly face while either breastfeeding or pumping. This website became like my bible in the first couple months. That website was Kellymom.com. Seriously, if you are nursing or are planning to nurse, take a look at this website!!! 

So thanks to some tips and tricks I learned from there I am happy to say that I am still EPing for my Big Boy.

I will share some of my tips and how I have made it work for me.

First off are the supplies you will need. Now this goes for Moms who are pumping and nursing or just pumping. Either way you will need these things!!!

1     

     Double Electric Breast Pump

This one needs to be a good high quality and reliable. If you are EPing or even going to be pumping every day at work, you’ll need a pump that can not only handle that much use, but also do it efficiently. They can be a bit pricey, but compared to formula, it will pay itself off within just a month or two. I think a lot of insurance plans will pay for you to get one, too. Some may require a RX, but if you just call and ask, you could save money on that as well!!! I lucked out and received this Medela one from a family member

Storage Bottles and Bags

You will obviously need something to store the milk in, right? I use the Medela bottles to pump in to and I store it in the fridge until I’m ready to either use or freeze. Then when I want to freeze the milk I just dump it in a Lansinoh storage bag, write the ounces and date, and lay it flat in the freezer. Once frozen I put them in a large gallon freezer bag and write the date range of milk and put it in the basement freezer. I used to use the Medela bags but they just don’t hold enough. They were only marked for 5 oz but I have had issues with them leaking after I thawed them. The Lansinoh ones are bigger and cheaper! And I have never had one leak on me yet. I have bought both of them on Amazon and with my prime membership I get a discount and free two-day shipping!

      

     Nursing Cover

You will still need this if plan to leave the house at all, or even have guests over. I usually try to time my pumping times around my outings but sometimes we are out all day and that is not possible. So a nursing cover makes it easy for you to pump outside of your home without showing anything.

Hands-Free Pumping Bra

I started out my pumping adventure without one of these and it was a pain to hold both bottles. Especially when you need to massage the milk down occasionally. I found this one for a great price on Amazon and I cannot live without it now. It makes things so much easier. I can type my blog posts while pumping, or sit on the floor and play with my kids. If you happen to get a more portable pump you could even do some cleaning or something as well. I have read some women cook dinner or even drive while pumping if you have a portable pump. It could also be great at work. If you work at a desk, just slip this baby on over your bra (I also recommend having a nursing bra for convenience) in the bathroom then put your cover on and hook everything up. You can pump while you work!!!

Manual Hand Pump

This has been the best thing I have bought. It’s a cheaper portable pump that works just as well as an electric pump. The only drawback is you can only do one breast at a time. I use this one a lot in the car when someone else can drive. Also a great option to take to work if you don’t want to haul your big loud electric one to work.

Extra Pump Parts

If you can, purchase extra pump parts so that you can always have one set clean. I have not had the extra money to do this but I really wish I could. It would make things a lot easier, especially if you will be pumping at work. To make it so that you don’t have to wash the parts every time you use them, you can just rinse them with hot water after every use and then store in a plastic baggy in the fridge. It will keep whatever milk is still on the parts good until the next pump. I am able to wash my parts two to three times a day, instead five or six. This is especially helpful at work where you may not have the time to wash them. You could also wipe them down with some pacifier wipes and then store in fridge if you cannot rinse them.

     

     Lanolin Nipple Ointment

Your nipples will be sore in the beginning until you get used to that much pump use! But if you use it before and after pumping, it will not be as bad. I now only have to use it maybe once a week if that. I actually had to use it more when I was nursing! But this stuff is a life saver in the beginning.

Here is a list of tips to make Pumping as easy as possible

     Make sure you are comfortable- If you are not comfortable, it will affect how much milk you will be able to get. Sitting straight with support for you back, feet down in front of you is the best position. I have a spot on the couch that works great for me. But a rocking chair would great too. Whatever works for you that is near an outlet.

     

     Drink plenty of water- This makes such a difference. If you are not drinking plenty of water, you will get dehydrated quickly. And, if you are dehydrated, your baby will be too! If I ever notice that my milk production is going down, I can usually just drink a couple extra cups of water and that will fix it most of the time. Plus, I get so thirsty I have to drink water while I’m pumping!

     Relax and think about your baby- To activate a let-down, I have found taking a deep relaxing breath and picturing my baby helps. For some women, looking at a picture or smelling something of their baby’s helps when they are not at home. Do whatever works for you but relaxing is definitely the key.

  

     Massage and gently squeeze the milk out- As you are pumping, gently massage your breasts with your fingers in a downward circular motion (like when doing self breast exams) all the way around the breast. Also gently squeezing for a couple seconds at a time will help get all of the milk out of your breasts. It can also help encourage more let-downs.

5 

     Pump as often as possible- When first starting out and building up you milk supply you will need to pump at least every two hours for 20-30 minutes. I know that seems like a lot but it will set you up for long term success. Once you have done that and have built up your production enough and you feel comfortable with it you can go to every two to four hours. But try to aim for 6-8 pumping sessions in a 24 hour period for the first couple of months. I am now on month four of EPing and have been able to reduce it to every 6-8 hours for 30-40 minutes. The fewer times you pump the longer you need to pump for to get it all out! But if you try it and notice a decrease in milk supply, go back to every 4 hours for a couple days and then slowly extend the amount of time until you are comfortable with the amount you are getting.

        Don’t expect to fill the bottle every time- Even after I go 8 hours I won’t always be able to fill both bottles. That is completely normal. I have been lucky and have been over producing milk from the day it came in, but not everyone is like that. I wasn’t with my first baby. So if you only get a couple ounces, just know that is normal. Don’t give up. The best thing is to keep going. The more you pump the more milk your body will make. Supply and demand. It may take a couple days to notice an increase so just give it time. I always try to freeze any extra milk so that if I ever start to lose some I can have a backup until it comes back. That leads me to the next tip.

         Freeze any extra milk- If you have four or more full bottles and you know your baby will not need all of them before your next pumping session, freeze some. That way you can start building up a freezer supply just in case. My goal is to have enough in the freezer by the time he gets to be 9 months that I can decrease my pumping to about 2-4 times a day. So far I have about 5-6 gallon bags full.

  

     Support from family and friends- If your family and friends don’t support you, it will make things difficult. Especially your husband. You need him to be on the same page when it comes to breastfeeding and pumping. Luckily that has not been a problem for me. But I have heard of mothers or friends or even husbands telling women that it’s disgusting or annoying. It doesn’t matter what they think. You are Mom and it is your decision, so do not let anyone tell you anything different.

As you can see, deciding to Exclusively Pump is not easy. It takes a lot of and dedication. But once you get the hang of it, it becomes like second nature to you and your family. I have a four year old daughter, and she knows that when mommy is pumping she can’t do certain things that need me to help her. I also try to time my pumping so that it’s done while the baby is asleep. He rolls all around now and is learning to crawl so I have a hard time being connected to a machine with him awake. But do whatever works for you. Some like to time it around feeding their baby so it is done at the same time.

If you decide to try it, but find it is too stressful for you and your family, then just do what you feel is best. If you think you and your family would be happier using formula, go for it! It’s OK if that is what will make everyone happy. And it is alright to feel sad about it at first. I felt horrible when I decided I couldn't continue trying to nurse. I felt like a total failure as a mother and like I had let everyone including myself down. I allowed myself to feel sad about not being able to have that special bond with him anymore. Then I started to remind myself that at least he is still getting my milk and everyone is happier. Because it is so true when they say “If Mamma isn't happy, nobody’s happy!”

Good luck to you in your breastfeeding and pumping adventures. If anyone has any other tips or encouragement please share! And if you have any questions I would be happy to do my best to answer them if I can, or lead you to a source that can help. 

8 Years Ago....Our Family's Nightmare

It's been 8 years.

8 years, but I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.

The knock on the door that woke me up at 7 am on Saturday, January 14th 2006.
Walking down the stairs while hearing crying and screaming.
I saw my parents holding each other. That was where crying was coming from.
I remember the two police officers standing by the door. They noticed me first before my parents did.
I sat down on the steps, just watching. I think deep down I knew, but my mind refused to acknowledge it.
Until they told me.
Until my Dad told me, my brother was gone. He was never coming home again. He would never walk through that door with his contagious smile and a smart ass remark at the ready.

I remember my Dad hugging me, and then I asked how it happened. A car accident, someone said.
Then the next thing I remember is sitting on the stairs by myself, watching my parents sobbing. Hearing the words, "Not my baby, no not my baby" over and over again.

Everything after that is now a blur. But one thing remains clear. The pain. I can still feel it when I allow myself to think about it.

It was like someone punched a whole in my heart. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. I just sat there with my arms around around myself, and cried.

My parents made me go to school that following Monday. At the time I thought it was the cruelest thing they could have done, but now I know it was the best thing for me.
It was so hard though. I had to go through my normal daily routine, except that he wasn't there to take me to school anymore, like he had been doing every day for the last few weeks.

I only told a couple of my teachers what had happened. I tried my best to just be normal, but I know they knew something was wrong. I didn't learn a thing that week. If I wasn't staring off trying not to burst into tears, I had my head down on the desk either sleeping or crying quietly.
My friends were so great. I would not have made it through that week without them. They kept me going, tried to make me smile and think about other things.

I remember the funeral service was so crowded with people they were lined up all along the sides of the room standing. Even out into the hall.
He had touched so many lives in his short 23 years here. Everyone loved him. He was the life of the party and the one who brought our family together.

He is missed by so many and will always remain in our hearts and minds.

R.I.P Brian Jack Jones

I love you and miss you so much.

5 GOALS TO A HAPPIER LIFE IN 2014

In 2013, I had a couple pretty big life changing events happen. In June we welcomed baby #2, our Big Boy. This addition resulted me not being able to return to work due to the high cost of daycare. So I became a stay at home mom!!

I was really excited to not have to go back to work and be able to just stay home with my kids every day. I hated waking Princess up so early to just drop her off at daycare for 10 hours every day. Most days she just wanted to stay home, too.

When I first thought about staying home with my kids, I thought it would be so great. It is, really, but it’s also a lot more difficult than I had ever thought. You don’t really think about it, but when you have to go to work you develop a routine and a schedule to get everything done. But when you aren’t required to be up at a certain time it’s difficult to get dressed before noon. Then comes all of the chores and responsibilities. You keep telling yourself it will get done, but unless you set a specific day and time to get it done, it probably won’t get done.

So the key to being a stay at home mom and not just sitting around in your PJ’s all day and eating junk is to have a routine and a schedule. I failed at this. It’s been almost 7 months since our Big Boy was born, and I have yet to develop a routine of any kind.

I have let a lot of things go, like cleaning, bills, spending one on one time with my husband and my daughter, and most of all myself. So to fix this, I have come up with 5 goals that will help fix these problems and hopefully make me and my family happier in the New Year.

Goal #1:               MONTHLY DATE NIGHTS WITH THE HUSBAND

 It is so important for couples with children to make time to be together without the children. It becomes extremely difficult when I am always home with the kids. So making time to have a date night at least once a month, completely away from the children, is very important. It will not only strengthen our relationship but will also help stabilize our family. Our kids will grow up seeing that we will always make time to be together. I plan to set one day every month and make plans to go out. It doesn’t always have to be extravagant or anything. Just having a couple hours to go to dinner or something will be enough. Occasionally, if the finances allow, we will do something extra special. I plan to use some ideas that I find here at The Dating Divas.

Goal #2:               ONE ON ONE TIME WITH MY DAUGHTER

This is so important to me because I don’t do this enough. Since the baby came, I have noticed my daughter and I have not been getting along very well. Every day we fight. She is constantly pushing the boundaries with me and I have lost my patience with her. She is not nicknamed Princess for no reason. She definitely requires a lot of patience. So, I am hoping that by spending at least 30 minutes of one on one time with her every day it will help us to get along better. This time can be spent dong anything other than watching T.V. We could play barbies, or work on her letters, or paint. Just so that it’s about me and her. No little brother or even Dad. I have a ton a ideas on my Pinterest board for Educational Activities. As well as just some fun arts and crafts activities that will help keep these fun for her and easy for me!

Goal #3:                               LOSE 30 LBS BY JUNE 1^ST

So I had lost most of the weight I had gained with baby #2 by just a few weeks postpartum. I was pretty proud of myself for it, too. But as the time has gone by, I have gained almost all of it back. I am so mad at myself for letting this happen. Especially that since I am always home, using the, I don’t have time excuse, doesn’t work. I have no excuse but pure laziness. So I have decided that if I lose 5 lbs a month, starting in January, I will be back down to a good healthy weight. Once I reach that goal I will set another goal depending on how much I still need to lose. But, I think that 5lbs a month is pretty doable.

Goal #4:               GET INTO A ROUTINE AND CLEANING SCHEDULE

I never thought it would be so difficult to keep up on the daily responsibilities when you’re home every day. But it is very difficult when you don’t have a boss telling what needs to be done and when. It’s especially difficult because there isn't really a start and end time for this “job”. It’s a 24/7 job, so it is easy to just say I’ll do it later or tomorrow. It’s a bad habit and I need to break it. So I am hoping that by setting up a scheduled routine, I can break out of this vicious cycle I am in. I have tried this many times already and I think the reason I keep giving up on it is because I’m trying to do too much in the beginning. I think that if I start small with just doing a few things every day, then slowly working up to a bit more, I will be able to stick to it. My plan is to have some daily chores that have to be done every day, like the dishes and picking up toys and clutter. Once I get good at keeping up on the day to day stuff, I will start adding in weekly chores. But I need to make sure to give myself a couple days to have a free day. That way I can have a “day off” if I want or catch up if I missed a chore on another day. This is my favorite example of a cleaning schedule that I found on Pinterest.

Goal #5:               PAY EVERY BILLS ON TIME EVERY MONTH

Now, for some, this may seem like no problem and you’re probably thinking why this would be on my top 5 goals. Well anyone that knows me, knows I am probably the most forgetful person ever! I have always struggled with remembering to do things. I used to get into so much trouble as a kid because of this problem. My parents never believed when I told them I had forgotten. But I think now they know, it was pretty true. I think I can incorporate this goal in with my routine. If I set times every week to take care of the finances, I think I can get it under control. This is the Bill Binder that I use to help keep my bills organized.

So, there you have it. My five goals that I hope will make my life easier, make my family and me happier, and maybe even teach my kids a thing or two about responsibilities and motivation.

What goals are you setting for yourselves for the New Year? 

And, no, I am not going to call them New Year’s Resolutions, because I plan to continue these well after the year 2014.  

A Year of New Christmas Traditions

This year the Princess is old enough to start doing some fun Christmas traditions with. So, I of course hit up Pinterest!

The first one we started was the "Elf on the Shelf" tradition. It was pretty successful, although I wasn't super creative with it. Luckily at only 4 years old just having the Elf sit in random spots around the house was enough for her. Her elf, Pebbles, will be leaving a "Goodbye letter" tonight and heading back to the North Pole with Santa Clause.

The second tradition I started was leaving food for Santa's reindeer on the lawn. I found this idea at Put A Bird On It. It's so simple and quick to make. Then the kids just throw it out on the lawn for the Reindeer to have a special treat. The Princess was so excited to try this tonight.
I was also going to try to do the leaving cookies for Santa thing, but in all of the craziness, the cookies did not get baked. But I'll try to do better next year.

The third tradition I started this year, was to read a new Christmas book before bed. I purchased "The Night Before Christmas" for her and her Daddy read it to her. I think she really liked having a new book to read that was all about Christmas.

Next year I would like to do maybe one or two more things, like maybe an advent calendar of activities, and doing the Christmas lights express with hot chocolate and jammies. But, we will have to see how it goes.

What fun traditions do you do with your families? What ones would you like to start doing?

The Beginning

It all started one day in April of 2006. I was a sophomore in high school, and just started my first job. I worked at Ream's Grocery, our local store. I noticed this really cute boy talking with the manager, and I couldn't stop staring. He was making everyone around him laugh, and he was laughing the loudest. Then one day he started bagging for me at my check stand, I was a cashier, even though he was not a bagger, but worked in the Western Wear department. From then on I would always ask to work the check stand nearest him and he always came over to bag for me. He got into trouble numerous times, but always came back. We talked and flirted for a while. He would come and sit with me in my breaks and would walk me to the door when my dad came to get me after my shift. Everyone started to notice, and started teasing us and saying we should just go out already!

I remember one night the manager was really getting after him to just ask me. He walked me to the door, and I remember standing there waiting. I kept thinking over and over, just ask me. But he just told me to have a good night.

Finally after about two weeks of talking and flirting, he finally brought up the subject of us dating. He asked me what I thought of what everyone was saying about us dating. I asked him if he would want to and he said yes. So, I told him that I thought we should.

Then he finally asked me on a date that following weekend. I was so excited. It was going to be my first date. Then I thought, crap now I have to tell my Dad!!
My Dad came in to buy some groceries, so I decided that was the perfect time to tell him. So I asked if we had any plans that weekend. Then I told my Dad I had a date with Jake that weekend. Jake was bagging for me at the time, so he was standing right there. My Dad turned and looked at him and said Hi. Then he turned back to look at me. When I had said that I had a date, he had just swiped his card. He looked at me for a few seconds, then said he couldn't remember his pin. I was trying so hard not to laugh! I told him the pin, then he said he would be back to pick me up after my shift. But he handled it well.

Our first date was dinner and bowling. We had a lot of fun. We got more comfortable around each other as the night went on. I remember one moment when we were high-fiving for one of gets a good score, when he held onto my hand for a few extra seconds. Boy did my heart beat go crazy after that. On the ride home I made sure to sit in the middle seat of his truck, right next to him.

From  then on we dated all through high school. He went to Hunter High and I went to Cyprus High. Two big rival schools! He was with me through everything that I went through during those years.
I got into a big fight with two of my best friends, and ultimately stopped being friends with them. My parents health went down hill dramatically and they ended up selling the house. I moved many times in the years following that. But Jake was my rock through it all.

We graduated in June 2008 and I quit Ream's a month later, Jake had quit a while before that. Then I got a job at a Veterinary Hospital, which I still work at. We got married in December after we graduated and rented an apartment together.
Then in June 2009 we welcomed our beautiful baby girl into our family. In December of 2009 we bought a house! Then in October of 2012 we found out we were expecting another baby! In June 2013 we welcomed a baby boy to our family.

I am now a stay at home mom to a four year old girl, and 6 month old boy. I absolutely love being able to stay home with both of my kids now. I was unable to do that with my daughter, and I hated having to leave her with someone else while I went to work.
This time with two kids, we couldn't afford for me TO work. I would literally be working to pay for daycare. So I get to spend every day with my kids. They drive me nuts sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my husband so much. He still makes me laugh every day. He works hard to make it alright for me to stay home with our kids.

The "Elf on the Shelf"

I am sure you have heard of it by now. Santa's little elf that lives at your house during Christmas time, and watches over the children and reports their behavior to the big guy.
I first heard of this tradition last Christmas. I didn't really know what it was all about. I just knew that mothers were going a little crazy over this little elf doll. It was all over Pinterest and facebook. There were pictures galore of this little elf getting "caught in the act" of doing something. Whether it was naughty or cute.

 My first thought was, "OK that's a little weird." This creepy little elf sits on a shelf in your home and watches your kids. Isn't it enough that Santa knows when they are sleeping or awake, and if they have been good or bad?

 Then I heard more of the story, and read moms reporting how helpful it is during such a stressful time of year. They said it's a fun tradition to start with children, and gives them that extra edge to keep children in line.
So then I thought I would look into it. And decided not to purchase and elf due to the outrageous cost. Really?! $30 for a little elf doll. You have got to be kidding me! There was no way I was going to spend that much money for that!!!!

 Then the weekend after Thanksgiving, my Mother-in-law sends me a text saying she bought one for my daughter. At first I wasn't sure I wanted to participate. I mean, that's just more work for me, right? So I thought about and decided I would give it shot. It couldn't hurt, and if it worked, well then great!! I could definitely use some help in the behavior department with my "Little Princess."

So that Sunday we introduced the Princess to her new Elf friend. Her Auntie read the story of the Elf to her. It was so precious to see her face light up and the book explained who she was and why she was here. And her reaction to the no touching rule was priceless. She was in fact holding the elf while the story was being read to her. As Auntie got to that part, she looked down at the elf, then turned and very gently set her down on the table and then folded her arms. She was so worried that she had already ruined the "Magic."
We then told her that it doesn't start until we get her home so she could still hold her if she wanted to. But she still didn't want to touch her very much after that.
Then came the part where Princess gets to name the elf. She picked out the name "Bianca", after a stuffed kitty she has. I thought that was an adorable name for the elf. But then just before we were leaving to go home she says she wants to change her name to "Pebbles." Because Auntie had brought up the Pebbles and Bam Bam dolls. So we told Princess she had until we got home to decide what the name would be, but as soon as we were home she could not change her name again.

So we now have Pebbles the elf roaming our house. Then I started thinking about the personality of our elf. Should she be a naughty elf, like so many others? Making messes and getting into things? Or will she be a good elf? Making friends and bringing presents?

Why on earth would I make the elf naughty? Isn't she supposed to encourage good behavior? How is her getting into trouble OK but not for Princess? What is that going to teach her? And why would I want to spend that much time thinking of the idea, setting it up, then cleaning it up and having to explain to my four year old that she is not allowed to do what Pebbles has done? NO THANK YOU!!
So our elf is a nice elf. She is kinda boring and just sits in different places around the house. I don't have the time or the energy to make all of these cute and creative "situations" that everyone else comes up with. I'm lucky if I get her moved by the time Princess gets up!! And I have already forgotten once. I had to tell Princess that she liked the spot and didn't want to move yet!

But I do have to say that she has helped out. I just remind Princess that she is watching and reports to Santa every night. That usually gets her attention!! And she loves looking around for her every morning. Luckily she is only four and finds simple things funny, so I don't have to get to creative!

I started out thinking the Elf on the Shelf was a little weird and creepy. But once I saw the excitement from my Princess, I realized this could be the beginning of a sweet and fun family tradition. Something I had very little of when I was a kid.

 What do you think of the Elf on the Shelf tradition? And what do you think about the "Naughty vs Nice" ideas?

Princess meeting her Elf 

This is where she found her the first morning.

She found Pebbles watching TV with Belle

This one really worried Princess. She was afraid little brother
would pull her down and ruin her!